


Beloved

by pann_cake



Category: World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Anal Fingering, Cuddling, Dirty Talk, Love Confessions, M/M, Oral Sex, Rimming, Smut before feels, ambrollins - Freeform, post sex emotions, top!dean/bottom!seth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-07
Updated: 2019-04-07
Packaged: 2020-01-06 01:59:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,814
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pann_cake/pseuds/pann_cake
Summary: Just because they love each other, doesn’t mean that’s enough after everything they’ve been through, everything they’ve done. This could be the moment they decide to hang it up, to walk away and move on from each other, instead of constantly living in each other’s ebb and flow.But Dean’s not willing to live on scraps of Seth’s love, not when he knows what it’s like to have it all. A year ago, they’d been happy, truly happy, for the first time. Dean knows they can never go back to that--he should have realized when he was in it that it was the best time of his life. Now, they can either build back up, or leave everything in ashes.





	Beloved

Dean has to admit that he’s missed this. It feels like forever since he’s had Seth like this, the memory of it fogged by everything that happened after. But Dean’s in a different place now--now that he has his head on straight, has his brother back. And as for his lover, well...things weren’t as irreparable as he once thought. 

Seth is laid out on Dean’s bed before him, on his stomach, his hair falling over the side of his face and his arms tucked up under the pillow. He looks completely relaxed, a rare feat these days, Dean knows that much. He stretches like a cat in a sunbeam, his back arching, a silent request for Dean to get back to touching him instead of just looking.

They’re both naked, but they’ve taken things slow, this time. It wasn’t a fevered jump back into each other’s arms the second the Shield got back together--one last time. _This_ time, they’re being careful with each other, like this tenuous truce might break again if they don’t tread lightly. But Dean knows that’s not the case; he’ll go slow, for Seth’s sake, but he knows now there’s only one place his heart fits.

He slides his palms down Seth’s naked back, along his sides, fingers tickling a little at ribs and skirting around bruises. Gentle, always gentle, and Seth sighs into his pillow, his body going slack under Dean’s hands. Dean takes his time, just concentrates on rubbing his back for a bit, making him feel good, wanting to stretch out this relaxed peace they’ve achieved here. Besides, he loves seeing Seth like this. When Seth is like this, Dean can do anything he wants to him and for once Seth won’t put up a fight. There will be no bickering, no power-plays, no huffiness from the man below him. Sometimes Dean _likes_ all that, they both enjoy that give-and-take some nights, the amping each other up, the game of trying to shut each other up. But not tonight. Tonight Dean is going to eke out every last sigh and purr he can get from Seth. 

Dean leans down to nuzzle against Seth’s neck, mouthing along his neck and up behind the hollow of his ear. “I missed you, baby,” he murmurs, feeling Seth shiver beneath him. 

“Dean…” Seth says, turning a bit to try and look at him. Dean just brushes the hair from his face and leans in to press a brief kiss to his lips to shush him. They don’t need to talk, not right now. Dean has already apologized, they had to be on the same page going into their last match together with Roman, but it wasn’t nearly enough. There hadn’t been time to get into _all_ of it, and Dean knows that’s a rabbit hole he doesn’t want to go down with Seth right now. 

Seth settles back against the pillow, and Dean moves further down his body, following his wandering fingers with a warm mouth, drawing little mewls of pleasure from his lover. His hands slide further down, around the smooth skin of his hips and finally around to the perfect swell of his ass. Dean leans back on his knees, settling on the bed behind him, gently squeezing both cheeks. 

“And I missed this ass,” he murmurs teasingly, a smirk on his face. He looks up to see Seth huff a brief laugh, shaking his head a little in amusement. 

“Don’t be _modest_ , now,” Dean coos at him, massaging both mounds, his thumb dipping teasingly between his cheeks but not straying far enough before sliding back up. “You work hard on this ass, Crossfit Jesus. And it should be worshipped accordingly.” 

Before Seth can make a comment about how _truly terrible_ that dirty talk is--and Dean knows, that’s why he did it, because he thinks it’s funny not because he thinks it would make either of them hot--Dean just goes ahead and puts his money where his mouth is, so to speak. He leans down and buries his face in Seth’s ass, his fingers spreading him apart so he can get at his core with a gentle tongue. Seth gasps above him, but it quickly turns into a moan as Dean laps at him. Dean teases him, circling his entrance with the tip of his tongue, licking across him, but never pushing with too much pressure. It works wonders to wind Seth up, who has started moaning and squirming under him, trying to push back for more but Dean’s hands hold him in place. He’s decided that he’s not going to give Seth what he wants too soon, he’s going to drag this out and make it last, give Seth every last bit of pleasure he can before he lets it take him over. 

Seth is muttering strings of curse words, with one arm bunching the pillow into his face and the other hand fisted in the sheets. Dean only sneaks a quick glance up his bare back to enjoy the view, then he hikes Seth back towards him by the hips, then leans in to push his tongue deep inside him. Seth nearly _howls_ above him, and Dean would smirk smugly if he wasn’t preoccupied. His nails dig into Seth’s hips as he works him, his tongue curling cleverly inside him, fucking him as far as he can go then pulling out and lapping at his rim again. 

Seth pushes back against him for more friction, practically humping the mattress below him, and the desperate noises he’s making pull a similar muffled groan from Dean. He can’t take anymore, his own length is already hard between his legs. So Dean sits up before grabbing him and flipping him over, the move fast and rough. Seth lands on his back, his hair flopped over his face, blinking up at him in surprise as Dean straddles him. 

Dean grabs the bottle of lube he’d put on the bed earlier and slicks up his fingers before gently spreading Seth’s knees apart. One hand cups under one knee, pressing Seth’s leg up towards his chest and holding him so he can get at him, circling one finger gently around his rim before he presses inside. He’s careful and slow, noticing how Seth is rubbed a little raw from Dean’s beard and not wanting to hurt him. Seth whines at the slow push, and Dean bites his own bottom lip as he watches his digit pushing in and out of him. He’d almost forgotten how much Seth likes being fingered, and the sight of it makes Dean throb with need. The next time he pulls out, he slips a second finger in and Seth’s moaning goes up in pitch a little. 

“God, you’re so tight, baby,” Dean mutters, feeling the resistance against his fingers start to ease a little as Seth relaxes around him. “I bet no one fucks you like I do, baby, huh?”

He looks up at Seth as he shakes his head. “No, just you, I--” he cuts himself off around another moan, and Dean’s eyes light up in realization. 

“Just me,” he repeats. “Of course, you’re so damn tight because no one’s fucked you since me.” He thinks about when that last was--after Australia, maybe?--but it’s a blur, lost in what happened after, and Dean is too distracted to figure that out. Dean hasn’t been with anyone else, either, but he figured after he hurt Seth enough to push him away, he might have sought solace in the arms of someone else. At the time, he hadn’t really thought about the fact that Seth might wait for him. 

All Dean can do now is try to make up for lost time. “You’re so good for me, baby,” Dean murmurs, fingering him slow and deep. “You missed this too, didn’t you?” He keeps murmuring to him, not really paying attention to what he’s saying, just watching Seth’s face. “Look how wet your pretty cock is for me, baby. You’re so ready to be fucked. What did you do while you were missin’ me, huh? What did you do you to yourself, in your bed alone at night, thinkin’ of me?”

At that, Seth _groans_ and uses both palms to cover his face, but Dean can see that his ears are burning red. Smirking, he reaches his other hand up from Seth’s knee to circle around his wrist and pull his hands down, wanting to see the blush on him. Meanwhile, he keeps working him below, faster and harder, stretching him open, adding a third finger. 

“So good, baby…” he mutters, and Seth nearly loses it. 

“ _Dean_ ,” he cries out, “ _stop it_.” The dirty talk is too much for him, so Dean bites his tongue and just focuses on fucking him on his fingers. Seth’s arms fly down to the bed to grip the sheets tight--not even going for his own cock even though it’s straining and begging to be touched--because he knows Dean will only bat his hand away. Dean loves that he doesn’t even have to warn him, Seth just knows what Dean wants from him. And Seth is simultaneously squirming and rutting onto Dean’s hand, his upper body nearly thrashing on the bed while his hips rock down.

“Jesus fuck…” Dean breathes as he watches him, achingly hard himself just from the show Seth is giving him. “You’re gonna come just like this, aren’t you? I don’t even need to touch you.”

“Dean, _please_!” 

The begging does him in, and Dean abandons what he’s doing and lets Seth’s hips down on the bed before reaching for his cock. He can feel Seth practically vibrating with need, his skin flushed hot and sheened with sweat. The head of his cock is glistening and dripping, and Dean leans down to taste him, slowly pulling the tip between his lips. But Seth is impatient, he bucks his hips up and Dean lets him, slides his cock deeper into his mouth until it nudges the back of his throat. When he pulls off a moment later, he runs his hand down the slick length before taking him in again, and Seth is keening above him. Fingers fall into Dean’s hair and try to tug the short strands, not pulling him away just desperate to hold onto him. 

Dean knows he’s close, he can feel his thighs trembling and hear the way his breath hitches, Seth’s hips starting to stutter and jerk. He’s tempted to pull out and finish him in his hand so he can paint Seth’s belly with it, but Dean is more eager to taste him. It’s only a few more slides before Seth’s body is arching off the bed and he cries out Dean’s name in a broken moan and comes down his throat. 

Dean swallows, one hand caressing Seth’s thigh and the other stroking him through it into his mouth until Seth is spent. He lets him go and leans back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, and just takes in how wrecked Seth looks. His face is flushed, his hair in sweaty tendrils across his forehead, goosebumps prickling down his arms, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath, eyes closed.

“God, you’re beautiful,” Dean whispers, almost to himself. 

Seth opens his eyes, and they’re glistening with a wetness Dean didn’t anticipate. Seth meets his gaze and mutters quietly, “I love you.”

Dean feels it like a punch to the gut, and he clenches his jaw, his head reeling as he breathes out through his nose and tries to get a grip on the world around him again. His hands settle on Seth’s knees, a tether, but in his silence Seth’s eyes flick away. 

It spurs Dean into action, and he lets out a determined puff of air and moves up the bed, laying over him. “Hey,” he says quietly, moving Seth’s chin with easy fingers. “Don’t do that.”

Seth actually sniffles, tears swimming in his eyes that he tries to blink back as he looks at him. Dean’s eyes skip over Seth’s face, the plain, raw emotion there going straight to his heart. The inner rage Dean had felt weeks ago simmered into a deep guilt that he couldn’t bring himself to express--not to anyone, but especially not to Seth. Even after Seth came looking for him, telling him again that he’s his _wrestling soulmate_ , no matter what vile things Dean had done to him while he’d been unhinged, Dean couldn’t bring himself to really face the damage he’d done to him. To _them_. It burns in Dean’s heart like a smouldering coal, and seeing Seth like this just stokes it into a full-blown forest fire. 

Seth moves to turn away, Dean’s silence apparently speaking volumes for him, but he can’t let him. He cups his face and leans his forehead against Seth’s, and Seth’s arms come up around his neck to hold him there and the tears finally come. Dean is dry-eyed--he doesn’t think he even _can_ cry, anymore--but Seth’s face is streaked with wetness and he clings to Dean while Dean tries to shush him. 

“Was this a _one last time_ thing, too?” Seth finally asks, voice low and hoarse. 

“What? No. Seth…” Dean leans back to tip Seth’s face up towards him, thumbing away his tears. 

“You’re leaving,” Seth says, and Dean just swallows around a suddenly dry throat and nods. They haven’t talked about it yet, and Dean knows they need to even though talking has never been his strength. He’d much rather _show_ Seth what he wants, how he feels about him, but they’re running out of time. In a few weeks, Dean will be gone. And he’s already wasted so much time on his own insecurities, he can’t waste any more. 

“I love you, too, you know,” he says finally, and Seth makes a little strangled noise that nearly breaks Dean’s heart. “Always have. Even when…” He shrugs, not wanting to delve into his darkness, and Seth, thankfully, nods in understanding. Dean leans down and kisses his wet cheeks, one at a time, before kissing his lips and tasting salt there, too. Seth’s hands slide to the back of his head, fingers clenching, holding tight. 

When he pulls back, Seth’s eyes are drier but they still look uncertain, the future looming ahead of them like a mist they can’t see through. Dean brushes Seth’s hair back from his face and Seth sighs a little. 

“Just ‘cuz I’m leaving,” Dean starts, softly, “doesn’t mean I’m leaving _you_.” 

“ _How_?” Seth asks in a broken voice. “We can’t even get our shit together when we see each other almost every day. Dean, we’ve barely even talked, about _everything_. How can you say you’re not leaving me, when I don’t even know if we’re _together_ , or what.”

It’s a lot, and Dean had expected Seth to want to talk about this, he just hadn’t thought it would be post-coital while they’re both still naked in bed. Dean sighs and scratches the back of his head before rolling off him, creating some breathing room. He sits up in the bed, his back against the wall, the pillows all still shoved around Seth like a nest. He lets Seth breathe for a moment, watching him sideways, not head-on to give him some room, while Seth rubs the tears from his face and shoves his hair back. Dean pulls the sheet up around them, knowing Seth is going to want to get dressed but not wanting him to get up. They can have an adult conversation in bed, even if it was brought on by a wave of emotions and passion-fueled confessions. 

Eventually Seth looks over at him, waiting, finally ready to go on, and Dean swallows. His stomach is in a knot, knowing this is a turning point for them. Just because they love each other, doesn’t mean that’s enough after everything they’ve been through, everything they’ve done. This could be the moment they decide to hang it up, to walk away and move on from each other, instead of constantly living in each other’s ebb and flow. 

But Dean’s not willing to live on scraps of Seth’s love, not when he knows what it’s like to have it all. A year ago, they’d been happy, _truly_ happy, for the first time. Dean knows they can never go back to that--he should have realized when he was in it that it was the best time of his life. Now, they can either build back up, or leave everything in ashes.

“I know I fucked up,” Dean says finally, not looking at Seth now, just picking absently at a thread on the top of the sheet, fidgety. “I thought leaving might be easier if I pushed you away first, if you hated me. I _tried_ not to need you, Seth. I was...in a dark place. But my head is clear now, for the first time in a while. The decision to leave had nothing to do with _you_.”

“I know,” Seth tells him quietly, and Dean’s eyes finally shift over to him. “I already forgive you for all that, you don’t have to keep apologizing or explaining, Dean.” 

Dean just nods and waits for Seth to go on. Seth moves so he’s sitting up too, turning to face him more fully, and there’s a heaviness in his eyes that Dean hates. 

“I want you to do what makes you happy,” Seth goes on, his voice sad and defeated, like Dean has already left. “I know you probably didn’t…expect this to happen again before you left.” He gestures vaguely between the two of them. “It just feels like we never get the timing right, you know?” 

“Who says our time is up, huh?” Dean puts in, and Seth’s brow furrows, a little crinkle of confusion scrunching between his watery eyes. Dean would do anything to keep those tears away, to keep from breaking this man’s heart once again. He won’t be the cause of it anymore, he just won’t, not when they’re so much better together than they are apart. He knows that for sure now. 

“I know you’re right,” Dean goes on, barreling ahead. “You’re right, we can’t get our shit together when we’re right next to each other all the time. But that doesn’t mean we can’t make a long-distance thing work, if we want to. It doesn’t need to feel like we’re running out of time, we can have all the time in the world.”

“Dean,” Seth says softly, “you don’t even text me back _now_.”

“I’ll learn,” he assures him with a light chuckle, bumping him with his shoulder, earning him a small smile in return. “We’ll talk on the phone, and do that time-face thing--”

“FaceTime.”

“Yeah, that. And until I land somewhere, I can spend all your days off with you. If I start touring again somewhere else, we’ll make it work. I’ll crash at your place, or...hell, I’ll move in with you.”

Seth’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and Dean reaches to take his hand, wanting him to know he’s serious. “You’ll move to Iowa?”

“Yeah, why not?” Dean goes on, his thumb brushing along Seth’s knuckles. “Maybe it’s crazy, to jump back into a relationship just as I’m about to leave the company, but, when have we ever _not_ been crazy, you know?”

Seth nods slowly, worrying his bottom lip between his teeth, and Dean waits for a reply with his stomach swooping. 

“Are you…” a smile blooms slowly on Seth’s face, “are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

“Shut _up_ ,” Dean teases, knocking his shoulder a little harder. Seth laughs a little, and Dean feels the nerves punch out of him in one breath. Then Seth catches him, presses their lips together and smiles against Dean’s mouth. Dean smiles and kisses him back, curling his fingers back into Seth’s hair. 

When they part, Seth sniffles again and his eyes are misty. Dean strokes his cheekbone with his thumb and gives him a soft look. “If you cry again I’m gonna lose it,” he murmurs, and Seth huffs a laugh. 

“I’m sorry...I’ve been bracing myself for a goodbye, then never seeing you again,” he admits, clearly overwhelmed, but _happy_. 

Dean sighs and kisses him briefly. “That never would’a happened, babe.”

“I never know with you,” Seth insists, curling their fingers together. 

Dean looks down at their intertwined hands for a long moment before bringing Seth’s knuckles up to his mouth to kiss them. “Well, now you know.” He says it decisively, like he’s closing the door on all the pain in their past so they can move forward, together. Seth nods at him before he leans in to kiss him again, and Dean feels his heart finally settle in his chest. 

After a bit, Seth scoots down and lays his head on Dean’s chest, one arm slung across him and a leg nestled in between Dean’s. Dean pulls the rest of the blankets up over them before curling his arms around Seth, relaxing against him, his fingers toying gently through his hair. 

“You’re gonna hate Iowa,” Seth teases, his voice getting sleepy, but content. “It’s cold, no more biking in the desert.”

Dean chuckles warmly and squeezes him gently. “I’ll keep myself busy,” he assures him. “And I’ll have the dogs to keep me company ‘til you get home.”

Seth peeks up at him, his smile bright and warming his whole face. Dean loves that smile, would do anything to keep it there. And as Seth leans in to kiss him softly, Dean feels in his chest that this time, _this time_ they’re going to be okay. Seth settles down again, nuzzling against Dean’s neck as Dean presses his lips to his hair and holds him tighter. Dean doesn’t think he can sleep, but he lets Seth drift off in his arms, knowing that he’s been exhausted and worried on top of preparing for his Wrestlemania match. As Seth’s breathing becomes deep and even, Dean feels like a weight he’s been carrying for a long time has been lifted from his shoulders. 

He feels Seth press his face further against the crook of Dean’s neck, feels the tightening cling of arms around him, and when Seth speaks it’s a sleepy mumble against Dean’s skin. “What if this all crashes and burns?” he murmurs, hope tinged with nerves.

Dean kisses Seth’s head and tightens his arms around his shoulders. He might not be able to see his future, but this time he knows he has everything he needs. He puts a confidence into his words that he feels in his heart when he speaks against Seth’s hair. 

“Then I’ll pick you up and carry you.”

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from [Beloved, by Mumford and Sons.](https://youtu.be/_1DgqmqDPPs)


End file.
